Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Gluten free chocolate oat beet cake: This is the weirdest cake recipe ever but it's so so good

I promise you, this isn't healthy cake. Really. The last dessert I made was an 8x8 of blondies that had a cup each of butter, flour, sugar, and chocolate chips, plus a healthy glug of whisky (these Smitten Kitchen ones. follow her note at the bottom). This cake is moist, tender, delicate, deeply chocolaty, and oaty. Because the structure comes only from oats, almond flour and cocoa powder, there is nothing to make it gritty, dry, or weird like a lot of gluten-free baked goods. It's not good for being gluten-free, it's just really good. Consider the fiber, protein, and nutrients to be a bonus - I promise you won't notice them. 
And yes. It has beets. I hate beets, except in this cake. It's kind of like how with zucchini bread, the vegetable melts in to add moisture... but with a faintly perfumey, rich flavor that goes perfectly with the chocolate. I promise, it doesn't taste like dirt. You can also sub the same volume of pureed zucchini for the beets, just add 1/2c extra sugar - beets are sweet, zucchini is not.
This cake bakes up with a very tender, delicate crumb, one that falls apart into fudgy bits when you look at it wrong. For that reason, make sure that whatever frosting you choose is very light and spreadable. I thinned a basic buttercream, but next time I'm going to do a chocolate whipped cream, and one time I did a white chocolate whipped cream with beets in it and it was soooo pretty, so I'll include that below as well.

So, anyway, here's this weird cake. Make it next time you need to bring a gluten free dessert somewhere...or just next time you need to bring a dessert anywhere. 

Chocolate Beet Cake
Adapted from this recipe, which is also vegan. That means it's dairy- and egg-free, if your dessert plans require that. Makes a 13x9 or two 8" rounds. The beets can be precooked, but for goodness' sake not pickled. 

1 large or 2 small beets, or 1 large zucchini + 1/2c brown sugar
2 cups buttermilk (or 2 cups milk + tbsp lemon juice)
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup butter, melted
1 tbsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups oat flour (I whirled rolled oats in my food processor. If you do that, keep in mind that the oats should be measured after grinding.)
3/4 cup almond meal
1 cup cocoa powder (dutch process cocoa makes this cake a deep oreo-colored brown/black!)
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt


If using beets, and they are uncooked: Wrap in foil and roast at 400 degrees for 60-75 minutes, or until soft. Or steam for 30 minutes, or cook them however you want, just get them really really soft. Peel and puree in a blender or food processor.
If using zucchini: Leave raw. Grate by hand on the finest holes, or puree in a food processor or blender with some of the buttermilk to thin, if necessary.

Preheat oven to 350. Mix vegetable puree, buttermilk, brown sugar, butter, vanilla, and eggs until combined. Add in dry ingredients and beat until smooth. No need to worry about overmixing this cake - there's no gluten to make it tough! 

Line pan(s) with parchment paper and grease well - especially important with 8" rounds, as this is a very delicate cake and won't come out intact otherwise. Pour in the batter - it will be very thin. Bake 30-35 minutes for rounds, longer for the 13 x 9 (totally forget, sorry!). When done, the crumb will be fudgy and stick to a knife or toothpick, but not liquid.  Allow to cool completely before frosting. 


You can top it with a sprinkle of powdered sugar if you're one of those people who thinks that's sufficient, or you can frost it. Here are some frosting options, because I love frosting and you deserve  some too:


Chocolate Whipped Cream
This is so good, I can't even. 

5 oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped 
2 cups heavy whipping cream
dash salt

Chop chocolate finely. Heat cream in microwave or on stove and pour over chocolate in a heatproof bowl. Stir once or twice to combine, allow to sit for a few minutes to melt the chocolate, add salt,  and stir again until smooth. Cool in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours or up to a few days.  Whip until firm but not stiff and frost cake. 


White Chocolate Beet Whipped Frosting
#millenialpink

5oz white chocolate
2 cups heavy cream
1 tsp vanilla
A few tbsp of the beet puree from the cake 

Chop chocolate finely. Heat cream in microwave or on stove and pour over chocolate in a heatproof bowl. Stir once or twice to combine, allow to sit for a few minutes to melt the chocolate. Add salt, vanilla, and beet puree, and stir. Cool overnight, whip, frost. 


Basic American Chocolate Buttercream AKA frosting frosting
Use Google to find a recipe by someone who is less tired than I am, or...

1 cup / 2 sticks butter, softened
A bag of powdered sugar
Cocoa powder
Splash of vanilla
Several tbsp milk

Cream butter. Add some powdered sugar and whip it in, then add more. After you've added maybe 3 cups, add some cocoa powder - start with 1/3 cup. Mix that in. Add your vanilla, and if your butter was unsalted, add some salt. Keep tasting it (I'm assuming you've been tasting it already). Add more cocoa to taste or add more sugar. Keep adding until it's stiff, and then add a tablespoon of milk. Mix. Add another tablespoon and mix again. When it's thin enough to spread, put it on a cake. Or just eat it, you do you.


Saturday, December 24, 2016

Christmas Eve 2016 menu

Lil Smokies (grape jelly & chili sauce)
Trader Joe's feta & caramelized onion bites
Gyoza (soy, rice vinegar, rice wine, ginger)
Strawberry spinach salad (poppyseed dressing, hazelnuts, pickled shallot)
Olives
Cheese: Bent River camembert, blue chevre
(thin water crackers, fig jam)
Dessert: Fudge, cocoa truffles, amaretti truffles
Wine: Ernest Rapeneau champagne, little bottle

Asher had strawberries, blueberries, fries, cheese, chicken, and bubbly water (from a champagne flute!)

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Gluten free, I guess: junk food edition

-Costco frozen pizza. Like a giant open faced pizza roll.
-King Arthur Flour chocolate cake mix. A little dry, frost and serve with ice cream ace consider brushing with syrup before frosting.
-Wild Harvest freezer waffles. Indistinguishable texture, lightly sweet, faint anise flavor, taste like pizelle cookies
-Amy's gf mac & cheese, pretty good
-Pao de queijo (brazilian cheese bread). These are so good, I can't even. We've been eating these for months though.

That's it for now, to be updated as we find things. Making amaretti cookies today because they're gluten free already, but totally respectable.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

nonsense blondies in a bread pan

I went on a weird baking spiral (goal: a small batch of blondies, "blondies for 2" was a google search) at too late o'clock one night recently and Joel was super into the result. I'm on the fence. They're pretty good though, extremely rich, and fit in a bread pan.

Chocolate Chip Blondies (with whisky, brown butter, walnuts, coffee, vanilla)

4 tbsp butter
1/2c dark brown sugar (or if you're like me, white sugar and a drizzle of molasses)
1 egg yolk
1/2 tsp+ vanilla
glug of whisky (mine was Jameson)
tiny pinch of instant coffee, I have decaf. a splash of brewed coffee could work too.
1/2c flour
Handful of walnuts, chopped
Handful of chocolate chips


Heat oven to 350. On the stove, melt the butter, and toss in the walnuts. Stir until fragrant and butter solids are browning but not burnt. Add to sugar and flavorings in a bowl and let cool. Add egg yolk, flour, and if the mixture really is cool, chocolate chips (if it's warm it'll melt the chips). Pat into a bread pan and bake for 15-20 minutes, until beginning to brown around the edges. Don't overbake - err on the side of less baked.


Excellent with vanilla ice cream. 

Thursday, April 28, 2016

cop-out files: dinner edition

Easy but low-shame dinners #1:

This is not crazy authentic Thai food, but also it's not NOT if that makes sense. It's crockpot-mom-ified, but I'd like to think it's not SUPER shameful. It's very flavorful, extremely simple, and it's embarrassingly easy and takes zero cooking skills.  It's best made with cheaper cuts of meat that do well with long braising.

I don't remember eating a lot of just regular red curry in Bangkok, honestly. We did have plenty of Massaman curry and Panaeng curry - both very worth a google if you're interested. This has plenty of flavor on it's own, but those are some ways you can take it up a notch.

A note on fish sauce: I promise, you like fish sauce. if you don't, you aren't interested this curry recipe, because you don't like Thai food. Yeah, it smells bad, bu it tastes good and it's in almost literally every Thai dish.  Your Thai food will not taste right without it. A few tbsp, at least, goes in everything. It's the source of salt in Thai cooking. It's very cheap and they have it at Cub.

If you're looking for guidelines for a red curry to cook on the stove, this recipe from SheSimmers would do you nicely.


Crockpot Red Curry 

1 little can red curry paste  (Maesri is a good brand that is widely available, like, our Cub has it. If possible, get the cheap kind in the tin with lots of Thai writing, not the Thai Kitchen kind in a glass jar. That is fine, though, if you can't find the other kind.)
1 or 2 cans coconut milk, Aroy-D if possible but others are fine. NOT LITE. It is weird, sweet, and full of stabilizers that can make your recipe wonky. Only use the full fat, regular kind.
Slow cooker meat: Chicken thighs, pork shoulder, stew beef, etc. Boneless & skinless is easier, but  bones and skin add flavor, so whatever works for you. Scale this for however many you're serving... you can do a pound of meat and some veggies and this is a saucy curry over rice, or you can put a whole giant pork shoulder in it and it's red curry braised pork.
Sugar, 2 tbsp
Fish sauce, a few squirts (I guess this is technically optional, but fish sauce is so cheap and lasts forever...)
Steamed rice

Frozen peas*
Any veggies that sound good: pea pods, cauliflower, onions,  spinach, sweet potatoes, anything.
Garlic*
Fresh basil, sweet purple kind, or honestly even the Italian kind*
Kaffir lime leaves*
OR Green onions & cilantro chopped and mixed*


Turn crock pot on high. Add coconut milk and some or all of the curry paste, depending on your tastes - a few tablespoons makes a mild, creamy, but still tasty dish, the whole thing is a bit spicy but only by Minnesota standards. Whisk to combine. Add sugar and meat, and cook until meat is falling apart and tender - varies a lot by cut, but it'll be at least a few hours and have a lot of forgiveness.

- If the meat has bones/skin, fish out, remove, add meat back to the pot. No need to shred - just stir.

-If adding veggies, add depending on how long they take to cook - hard veggies take awhile, frozen peas just need to thaw, greens just need to wilt.

Steam rice, and serve.


OPTIONALS:
-My favorite variations are cubed sweet potatoes  with beef in the fall/winter (although, to be honest, I haven't done that in the crock pot) and frozen peas and leeks with pork or chicken in the summer.
-Add a few crushed cloves of garlic at the very beginning. No jarred chopped acrid nonsense sorry.
-Kaffir lime leaves - few can go in early on too
-Sweet or spicy  basil - tear off leaves and stir in before serving.
-Chopped scallions & cilantro - sprinkle on top or pass at the table. Tastes good and the green is a lovely contrast on the orange curry and white rice.


That's it! That's literally it. You can do this - it's dump and stir and wait. Even with all the additional things, this is an incredibly easy meal.



Resources:
-Good Deal Oriental on Lowry & Logan (I think?) in North Minneapolis is my favorite source for ingredients
-...but the Cub Foods near my house has everything here.
-Favorite person I know to learn to cook Thai: MY MOM. for real.
-Favorite non-shameful Thai food blogger: Leela @ SheSimmers
-Pictures of the brands I use to follow:





Monday, November 2, 2015

Cream-filled brioche buns: deception donuts

This whole idea is deceptive, start to finish. It's a complex recipe...but it's just a few simple components + time. It's filled dough...but the dough is no-knead. It's two basic, classic recipes combined, but the person I stole it from  - The Salty Tart's Michelle Gayer, via this article - mentions sort of making it up. It's simple, especially in the light of the reign of the Salted Caramel Mocha Red Velvet Oreo Cake Pop style of food blogging (which, I mean, no disrespect - I made an unholy dessert mashup  on the same weekend I made these and no I don't want to talk about it) and I also wondered about throwing in some blueberries, or a slick of ganache, or any number of sharp or tart elements, thinking it'd be too plain and sweet. I took Gayer's advice and left well enough alone, and I'm so glad I did.

Lede sufficiently buried, let's move on: this is a recipe for sorta-brioche filled with pastry cream, baked, and rolled in butter and sugar. It looks like one of those filled donuts, it tastes like...if one of those filled donuts got in a fight with a cream puff and they emerged as one, superhero-style.

You can use any brioche dough and any pastry  cream recipe you liked. This is what I used. The name brioche should be taken with a grain of salt - barely any egg! - but I liked the no-knead, no-mixer component with my impatient baby.

Cream-filled brioche buns
Makes 8 large rolls.

"Brioche" 
Adapted from the challah recipe in Artisan Bread In 5 Minutes A Day. Makes a very easy to use, playdoh-like dough once chilled.

1 C warm water
2 tsp yeast
2 tsp salt
1 egg and 1 yolk, lightly beaten
1/3 c sugar
1 tsp vanilla
Splash of Grand Marnier, kirsh, brandy (optional)
3 1/2 c (440g) flour
1/2 c butter, very soft

Beat water, yeast, salt, eggs, flavorings, and sugar together. Add flour and mix until incorporated. Add butter in slices, beating or punching or wrestling until combined. Let rise for 2 hours at room temperature. Dough can be used immediately at that point, but it's much friendlier cold, when the butter has solidified. Refrigerate for a few hours or up to 5 days (hint hint: overnight. On a Friday.)


Pastry cream:
Adapted from Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes A Day.

2 cups milk
1/2 cups sugar
2 tbsp butter
pinch salt
1 tsp vanilla extract (OR: vanilla bean. I have the feeling this would be a million percent better.)
Splash of grand marnier, brandy, kirsh, etc (optional)
1 egg
3 egg yolks (make meringues, macarons, or gross low-cal omelettes with the whites!)
3 tbsp cornstarch

Bring the milk, butter, salt, and half of the sugar to a simmer and turn off heat. Add vanilla and optional booze and set aside. Whisk remaining sugar with cornstarch and then eggs, beating to a paste. Slowllly add warm milk mixture, whisking constantly (a great use for your stand mixer if you have one!) until combined. Put the mixture back on the stove and bring to a boil, whisking constantly for 2-3 minutes. It will thicken up considerably! Press through a sieve to remove any lumps (or just mix really well if you're less worried).

To finish:
A few tablespoons melted butter
White sugar (bonus for vanilla sugar!)

To assemble: Sometime within the next few days: divide dough evenly into 8 balls. Roll the first ball into a circle about 1/4" thick, and dollop a spoonful of pastry cream. Wet the edges of the dough circle with water and pinch them up to seal. Use whatever method you like - I went with sort of a soup dumpling gather, but it doesn't matter as long as it is definitely sealed. Pinch and smoosh to make sure - this is super important!!
Place with a generous amount of space on parchment paper on a cookie sheet. Let rise until they about double in size (30-40 minutes) and bake in a 350 oven for 20ish minutes, or until golden brown.
Move to a cooling rack and brush with melted butter. Roll/dip/sprinkle with sugar. They should look like sugared donuts! Let cool for a few minutes, but not too many - they are lovely hot. Devour with coffee, with bourbon, with bacon and eggs and fruit, or just standing in your kitchen.



The only thing I'd consider adding to these is a handful of blueberries, preserved sour cherries, a pinch of cranberry sauce, or a bit of  very sharp marmalade...something fruity and flavorful. I don't think they'd be better, but they'd also be very nice. I want to try Lunds 'holiday preserves' or whatever it's called (I think it's cranberry, pear, and orange) for Christmas morning.

(I also want some right now, but you know.)

Thursday, April 23, 2015

The frosting files: Unnecessarily opinionated base recipes

Yeah, sometimes I go on frosting spirals. Here are recipes, with notes on pros and cons and how I personally like to use it. I wanted to put them all in one place for future reference, and maybe possibly save someone the work...although, I mean, frosting research is pretty much the best kind of research so you know, don't let this stop you from, uh, experiments.

Also: I don't have a stand mixer, so all of these are either with a hand mixer or just by hand.


1. Regular ol' American buttercream

You know the drill. I'm not putting a recipe here. Mix some butter, some powdered sugar, thin with some milk, throw in some flavorings. 
Pros: Fast, reliable, sturdy, endlessly customizable. Pipes, crusts, and holds shapes well. Easy to keep all of the ingredients on hand. Sweet and tasty. Stands up well to strong flavorings like cocoa powder and lemon juice. This isn't fashionable to say, but I like the mouthfeel of classic homemade mom frosting.
Cons: Can be stiff, once you add too much milk there's no going back, Very, very sweet by necessity - it's entirely made of butter and sugar. Gritty in that fine powdered sugar way. Can be hard to push through the piping bag. 

I like to use this for between layers, as it can be as thick as you need it to be. Classic and very easy.  You don't need a stand mixer, although that'll make it lighter and smoother and much easier. 

2. Light and fluffy whipped cream cheese/stabilized whipped cream

1 oz block cream cheese
2 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup granulated sugar (whiz it in the food processor/blender if you're nervous about it dissolving but honestly it's just fine)
1 tsp vanilla extract
Scant 1/4 tsp almond extract (optional)
Pinch of salt

Throw it all in the mixer. Mix it until it's whipped. Use more or less sugar to taste - taste it when it's incorporated but before it's really gotten whipped, so you don't overwhip it or have grit in your frosting. I like what the almond adds, but less is more unless you're actually wanting almond cream cheese frosting.


Pros: Super light and fluffy! A little denser than whipped cream. Lovely piled on anything. None of the structure comes from the sugar, so this is the ideal frosting for anyone who "hates frosting" because "it's too sweet." Not runny and heavy like cream cheese buttercream. Good slathered on a single-layer cake, dolloped on cobblers, and as the cream layer in a fresh fruit cream pie (don't bake it!)

Cons: Not for decorating. This is fluffy and light, a very stable whipped cream, not for precision or 'gluing' things together. Needs a thick layer, or it'll sorta start to soak into a cake left overnight. Not ideal for piping, but you probably can. Use caution with it as a weight-bearing filling, but good for something piped in. Best used fresh.


3. Cheater's Swiss meringue buttercream

Okay DON'T JUDGE ME and don't knock it until you try it. I've spent hours fussing with making real Swiss meringue buttercream, successfully and unsuccessfully, and remember noticing that the egg white + sugar mixture tastes remarkably similar to marshmallow fluff. I gave it a shot, and...yep.

1 regular jar (not the big jars...sorry, don't remember the oz) of marshmallow fluff
16 tbsp cold unsalted butter (two sticks), cut into slices
Salt, to taste
Flavorings - at least some vanilla

Dump the fluff in a bowl and mix in the butter a few cubes at a time. Eventually it'll get fluffy and silky. If it breaks, add more butter! I like to use unsalted and then salt to taste but do your thing. Add in flavorings to your heart's content - I just threw in probably half a cup of dulce de leche and several tablespoons of cream cheese and it's totally fine. If you want chocolate, do melted cooled chocolate, not cocoa powder. Google 'swiss meringue buttercream' + your desired flavor and I promise someone will have you covered. Nutella! Raspberries! Peanut butter! Bourbon! Doesn't taste particularly like marshmallow, but I'd add a bit of vanilla at least or it's vaguely reminiscent of a rice krispy bar.

Pros: All the same ones as SMBC, plus almost instant. So, so silky and light and creamy. Easy to pipe, holds it's shape, perfect for topping cupcakes. Can be used as a filling as well. Incredibly stable and easy to flavor. No muss, no fuss, two base ingredients. Buttery and smooth, keeps well, I've even heard it can be frozen (but haven't attempted.) An awesome hack for a classic frosting. If you grab some gel food coloring, you can do pretty much anything you want with this.

Cons: Must be at room temperature for serving or it feels and tastes like cold butter, so needs some lead time out of the fridge if made in advance. Can't go too warm, or it can be a bit greasy.

4. Cooked flour frosting (roux frosting/grandma frosting)

Just use the Tasty Kitchen recipe. I haven't made this in several years, but it was my gateway to frostings other than American buttercream.

Pros: Light and fluffy and creamy, not gritty, less sweet, since the structure comes from the roux and butter. Fun to make and very tasty. More neutral than the tangy whipped cream cream cheese, but similar texture.

Cons: Does not last well - seriously. Gets weird if you frost the cupcakes and keep them in the fridge overnight. Can be bland. I like the taste and mouthfeel of this frosting a lot, but I haven't made it in at least four years because I can't handle the whole doesn't-last-well thing.


5. Ganache

Rich, dark, truffle-y. No really, this is what truffles are made of. It's chocolate + cream or butter and the ratio is variable based on what you want to use it for. A little corn syrup (don't faint, you totally eat candy) can make it a bit chewy and elastic, which is nice when pouring over a cake. Use super dark chocolate if you're one of those. One made with butter will completely firm up when cool, obviously, since both ingredients are solid at room temperature.The Kitchn has a good post. So does Joy of Baking,

I like to spread a slick of this over cupcakes, and then top them with a different frosting. It's easier than cutting out the middles and filling them, and is a nice even layer of tasty chocolate surprise. Great for when the cupcakes just seem a bit plain.

Pros: Rich, tasty, elemental chocolate. Great for filling, and as a glaze or drizzle. People get super into it.

Cons: Very very intense and can overwhelm a dessert very easily. I mean, it's pure truffle, which are eaten in small portions for a reason. Can be finicky with the texture - lovely and shiny when it works but easily becomes messy and dull.

ADDITION 5/25/2017:

6. Chocolate whipped cream

What it says on the tin. Delicious and more stable than regular whipped cream.

6 oz chocolate, chopped. Dark, milk, white, whatever goes with what you're making.
2 cups heavy cream
dash salt

On the stove or in the microwave, heat cream until hot but not simmering. Pour over chopped chocolate and salt in a heatproof bowl and stir to combine. Allow to sit for a few minutes to melt the chocolate, then stir until smooth - there should be no flecks or chunks of chocolate. Chill in fridge for at least 4 hours or overnight - it needs to be super cold or it won't whip. When ready to use, whip just short of stiff.

Pros: Delicious, light, smooth, easy, weirdly impressive. White chocolate makes for a great stable whipped cream, dark chocolate is surprisingly intense, and milk chocolate is sweet and creamy.
Cons: See #2. This is a little more stable but not much.



Okay! Eventually I might put up some of my favorite variations, but these are the base recipes I use.