Ugly but good (bonus: low carb!)

Like most white people, I'm very certain that most of my ancestors ate a lot of cabbage, beige carbs, and pork. They can be combined in many ways, and this one's very easy, inexpensive, filling, and so, so ugly.

I'm too lazy for cabbage rolls, and the phrase "unstuffed cabbage rolls" makes me roll my eyes hard enough to be heard the next state over, so I layered this in protest. It all mixed together in the bowl anyway so it might as well have just dumped the rest of it on top of the shredded cabbage.

Add whatever you want. Use more rice, or leave it out and put it over a carb of your choice (but your choice should be egg noodles.) Use canned tomatoes in any form and feel free to use sour cream, labneh, etc instead. Add some sweet peppers, carrots, or whatever before. Replace all of the rice with cauliflower crumbles for really low carb.



Shannon's Fictionalized Ancestors' Hotdish
We ate this for dinner four nights in a row. I made some quick pickles one night, rough tziziki another, and mashed beets another. The pickles were the best. A dollup of lebneh, sour cream, or Greek yogurt at the end would not be terrible, and showering it with chopped scallions or parsley will help with visual appeal.

1 large head cabbage, shredded or roughly chopped
1lb ground beef
1lb ground pork
1 onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp dried thyme or some? fresh
1 cup instant brown rice. Any leftover grain while be fine, as well
2 cups cauliflower crumbles - fresh or frozen. If frozen, thaw florets and chop finely, if fresh, whiz in food processor or chop.
3 15oz cans crushed tomatoes
1 cup heavy cream
2/3c (FINE, it was just some big dollops) Greek yogurt
3tbsp Apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp white miso*
A few shakes of fish sauce*
Salt to taste
Generous amount of black pepper


 *No, my Irish, Slovenian, French, and English forebearers did not have these, and they're optional, because if you don't have them, going out to get stuff especially for this is against the spirit of this dish. If you have some bullion, a bit of tomato paste, some MSG, or any other umami booster, put some in, or just salt it more.


Cook the meat in a large pan, crumbling as you go. When there's more grey than pink, add the onions, thyme, and some grinds of black pepper. Continue cooking until the onions are very soft and browning and the meat is sizzling and browning. Add garlic and stir, and then add cauliflower and thyme. Splash in some water and scrape up the frond, and add vinegar. If using instant brown rice, add it now with a bit more than the amount of water recommended on the package. If using cooked leftover grain, just add a splash of water to loosen it up. Separately, mix the tomato, cream, and yogurt, and season.

In at least one big casserole, or maybe two (eyeball it based on your pile of cabbage and pan of meat/rice), line the bottom with all of the shredded cabbage, and sprinkle with salt. Top with the meat mixture and then pour the tomato micture on top of that. Bake until the cabbage is soft and the whole thing is bubbly and browning... maybe half an hour at 350.